Life Is a Long Quiet River

Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a south seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks.

In the 1940s in the small town of Jupiter Hollow, two sets of identical twins are born in the same hospital on the same night. One set to a poor local family and the other to a rich family just passing through. The dizzy nurse on duty accidentally mixes the twins unbeknown to the parents. Our story flashes forward to the 1980s where the mismatched sets of twins are about to cross paths.

Two sets of identical twins are accidentally switched at birth. One pair, Phillipe and Pierre DeSisi, are aristocratic and haughty, while the other, Charles and Claude Coupé, are poor and dim-witted. On the eve of the French Revolution, both sets find themselves entangled in palace intrigue.

Matthias Duval is in love, but he can't choose between the two twin sisters Betty and Liz Kerner. To pick up the two sisters, he invents his own twin brother and will play both characters.

Paul is married to Sali. Everything would be fine if they could get a child. Until the day when Sali receives the call that they have been waiting for so long: their adoption file is approved. He is adorable, he is 6 months old, his name is Benjamin. He is blond with blue eyes and white. They - are black.

Vincent, a wealthy real estate agent, is invited to dinner by his sister Elizabeth and her husband Peter, both professors in Paris. Claude, a childhood friend and trombonist in a symphony orchestra, is also present. Vincent brings news from the prenatal examination of his and his wife Anna's unborn son. The name chosen by the soon-to-be parents strongly offends the others for many reasons. The dispute between the guests quickly escalates and before long the resurgence of old grudges and hidden secrets is unavoidable...

A trio of siblings faces turmoil when their parents reveal they've won the lottery but refuse to share a cent, unraveling buried secrets, unspoken tensions, and deep-seated jealousy that shake the family to its core.

Vincent, a civil servant, has always enjoyed the benefits of his family's status. When the government votes on a massive savings plan, Vincent is pushed out. When he is transferred to the North Pole, he meets Eva and finds love. It's time for him to choose.

A story about how a new baby's arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator, a wildly imaginative 7 year old named Tim.

Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.

Mother and daughter bicker over everything -- what Anna wears, whom she likes and what she wants to do when she's older. In turn, Anna detests Tess's fiancé. When a magical fortune cookie switches their personalities, they each get a peek at how the other person feels, thinks and lives.

A younger sister wishes to switch places with her popular older sister and the two bickering siblings awaken to find the wish has come true.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

When a childless couple—an ex-con and an ex-cop—take one of a wealthy family’s quintuplets to raise as their own, their lives grow more complicated than anticipated.

After his girl leaves him for someone else, Herbert gets really depressed and starts searching for a job. He finally finds one in a big house which is inhabited by many, many women. Can he live in the same home with all these females?

Father-to-be Alan is shocked to learn that he was born a sextuplet. With his newfound brother Russell riding shotgun, the duo sets out on a hilarious journey to reunite with their remaining long-lost siblings.

A young heiress must choose between six uncles, one of which is up to no good and out to harm the girl's beloved bodyguard who practically raised her.

When dignified Albert Donnelly runs for Governor, his team moves to keep his slow-witted and klutzy younger brother, Mike, out of the eye of the media. To baby-sit Mike, the campaign assigns sarcastic Steve, who gets the experience of a lifetime when he tries to take Mike out of town during the election.

Nerdy high schooler Jerry Mitchell is assigned to write an article for the school paper about the infamous new delinquent transfer student, Buddy Revell. When Jerry accidentally invades Buddy's personal space and touches him, Buddy challenges Jerry to an afterschool fight in the parking lot, which Jerry tries to avoid at all costs.

Themroc, a bachelor house painter living at home with his mother, leads a sad and colorless life. One day, after a run-in with his boss, he rebels. He wrecks his apartment, rejects every facet of bourgeois life, and begins acting like an urban, modern-day Neanderthal.